Fresher than an infant.
I want to be able to kick it at his house without worrying about his parents being home.. and vice versa. I want to hold his hand to make all my “bad day” troubles go away. I want to have “the moment” kiss with him, where my breath is so taken away and I’m at a loss of words everytime. I want to lie in bed with him and not worry if he’s expecting a little more. I want to fall asleep with him when the nights are cold. I want him to be the first one I call when I have grand news. I want to buy him shoes. I want to be close with his family.. like it was my own second family. I want his cousins/siblings/nephews/nieces to be able to look up to me for advice. I want to see them eye to eye, or at least understand where he’s coming from. I want him to be nice about me gaining weight instead of poking fun, literally and figuratively. I want to have mobile to mobile with him. I want him to have a crazy sense of fashion.. but not hardcore japanese style. I want him to find me sexy and beautiful at the same time. I want him to be funny and serious at the same time. I want to be able to not care and wear sweats and/or without fixing my hair. I want to sit on the couch and watch movies with him. I want to know how he feels about me and about us, no guessing games. I want to feel (something) special everytime we’re near. I want to think about him and smile ear to ear. I want to laugh so hard that my stomach hurts and my cheeks are locked. I want him to comment on my hair everytime I fix it differently or get it cut a certain way. I want to have plenty of inside jokes. I want to have a mutual admiration for art. I want to be made fun of by him so we can wrestle. I want him to be my soul mate, my best friend, my love, my lover. I want him to wear cool boxers that make me laugh. I want him to not be shy around my parents. I want him to know how to fight but not resort to it every ten seconds. I want him to be honest and openly honest. I want him not to use the word “fag(got)”. I want him to feed me. I want to be able to kiss him on the cheek without bumping heads. I want to be called his girlfriend in front of his friends. I want him to want to share a meal with me. I want to have plenty of pictures of us. I want to go to the beach, travel, the park, the mall with him. I don’t want to feel jealous or feel insecure about him, myself, or us. I want to trust him and him trust me. I want to be able to talk to friends without him trippin out. I want to make mistakes but not be condemned by him. I want to learn and grow with him and/or because him. I want to feel comfortable with him. I want him around.
I was googling certain tags I leave behind and, low and behold.. My LiveJournal account. There was a couple posts that interested me.. this being one of ‘em. So completely the same. Here’s a few revisions:
I do want the occasional head bump when he tries to kiss me by surprise. I want to talk about how our children will grow up- if they play sports, if they act, if they sing, if they draw. I want him to have goals for himself and for us. I want him to push me to success. I want to lay in bed and tell stories for hours like we just met. I want to waste away time with him. I want him to challenge me intellectually. I want to go on a picnic with him. I want to rest my head on his chest after a long day of work. I want to borrow his socks when my toes are cold and I went to his house wearing flats. I want to snuggle in a snuggie, hahaha. I want him to call back cus he said he will. I want him to make breakfast on a random day, even if it comes out shitty. I want to celebrate every month we were together, just like we did in high school. I want to have a date night every now and then. I want flowers, and not roses.. flowers. I want him to brush the hair away from my eyes or cheeks. I want to pull his undershirt down while he takes off his teeshirt so his tummy doesn’t show. I want him to teach me how to boogie board or swim. I want him to not overlook any sacrifices I’ve made. I want him to buy me a box of Chocolate Pocky just cause. I want to hear him make a list of anything positive. I want a little note or card on my windshield or desk or pillow just once.. k, maybe a few times. I want a partner, not a soul mate.
I am such a cheeseball, k bye!
